1 day.
I'm forgetting a lot of posts and that's why they are so empty. I start them and then forget and publish them a few days later. I need to keep going. Tomorrow I must pack my things and get everything ready. I'm so eager to see you again, to speak with you. I forgive you for everything, I hope you can too. I know that starting to date again will be difficult, maybe you don't even want to. Maybe you don't want to speak with me ever again. That makes me afraid, but I still have hope. Hope that you will come back. It will require a lot of time and patience, but I'm willing to play the long game. Having said that, I can't wait forever. In 8 weeks (since NC) I will give you my apology letter. I will deliver it to your home and unless you reach out to meet up and I can give it to you face to face I won't even know if you've received it. Despite this, I have hopes in that after you read the letter and process it for some time, you will reach out. You will at the very least text me. Hopefully, by then your feelings will have cooled down and we might be able to arrange a quick coffee date. Speak face to face. If you tell me you don't love me looking into my eyes, I will believe you. It will hurt a lot, but I'll leave you alone. Forever. However, if you do decide to tell me that, I will not be willing to interact with you again. The pain will be too great and the wound will last me years. Lucy, I love you. Please, give me one more chance.