Slowing down.
The reason behind the name of this blog, Schildkröte (turtle), is that turtles are slow. They progress step by step without rushing things. One of the things I despise most about urban life is how fast everything is. Everybody needs to play an instrument, be in a sports team and do their other thirty hobbies. Of course, none of those individually is bad, but they don't allow you to settle down. You start chasing a hectic life which only makes you tired in the long run. If you go to play tennis with your friends once in a while, it's a fun activity which you will cherish latter on, when you must train almost daily to play in some competition nobody really cares about you will just end up being burn out. If you ate cake every single day it would stop being so good and exciting. Another aspect of urban life is that there is no community. Once you stop going to school, to your workplace, etc. you stop interacting with everyone that is "always" around you. After leaving high school I maintain almost zero contact with most people, and it's not that I did not have friends, it's just that our friendship was tied to that specific geographical location. Whilst we were in school everything was cool, but nobody goes out of their way to reach out and interact with others. I remember when I was little and lived in a small town that I knew everybody. Not only did I know everybody, I knew how they were connected. I knew their families, their friend groups. Evidently, I did not know them at a deep personal level, but I did know that X was friend with Y and Z. I knew who their parents where, I knew their job, and because it was a small place you would just find them around the place when going shopping, walking or running any errand. In the city, everyone is isolated. I don't even know who my neighbours are.
Today I partially fixed the raspberry pi setup and did some work on the report. I'm facing this strange issue where the tables in the latex document do not appear under their corresponding section and if I change the formatting from h! to H it looks very odd and a lot of space is wasted. I will need to figure that out. I am yet to do my 3 minutes of exercise before publishing this post. In two weeks I'm heading to Salzburg. I'll spend most of the summer there so I need to think of a way to publish my site updates since I will most likely not take my laptop with me.
The more I think about you, the more I'm inclined to think that it won't work out or that you are not willing to try again. Moving on is very difficult and I keep having suicidal thoughts which luckily disappear as soon as I stop thinking and start doing. At the moment I will stick to my plan: 6th of July.